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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

2025 113 min ★ 6.3 Drama

With her life crashing down around her, Linda attempts to navigate her child's mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.

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Cast

Rose Byrne

Rose Byrne

Linda

Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien

Therapist

A$AP Rocky

A$AP Rocky

James

Danielle Macdonald

Danielle Macdonald

Caroline

Delaney Quinn

Delaney Quinn

Child

Mary Bronstein

Mary Bronstein

Dr. Spring

Ivy Wolk

Ivy Wolk

Diana

Mark Stolzenberg

Mark Stolzenberg

Parking Attendant

Manu Narayan

Manu Narayan

Landlord

Christian Slater

Christian Slater

Father

Details

Director

Mary Bronstein

Tagline

"Everything is under control."

Status

Released

Original Language

EN

Budget

$1,500,000

Revenue

$1,709,642

Production

A24, Central Pictures, Fat City, Bronxburgh

Reviews

B

Brent Marchant

November 29, 2025

★ 9/10

In an age where life’s everyday challenges can test our wits, becoming overwhelmed is a real possibility when they pile up. Just ask Linda (Rose Byrne), a therapist who struggles to sincerely and sensitively assist her troubled patients. But that’s just the start of her problems. She’s also tending to a sick child (Delaney Quinn), the demands of which are considerable, both from the whiny, often-u...

C

CinemaSerf

March 6, 2026

★ 6/10

Rose Byrne turns in a terrific performance here, but I found the thrust of the plot to be just a bit too much like a contrived horror movie. She is “Linda”, a therapist whose husband is off piloting a boat and whose un-named daughter has some form of undefined illness that is putting huge pressure on her mother. Then, just to add to her woes, a water leak in their apartment turns her ceiling into ...

B

badelf

June 15, 2026

★ 10/10

With truly sincere apologies to Almodóvar, the alternate title to this film could be "Woman in the Throes of a Nervous Breakdown." Mary Bronstein's debut feature captures the absolute insanity of raising a child in this time and place with such visceral precision that watching it feels less like cinema and more like surviving someone else's panic attack in real time. Rose Byrne plays Linda, a t...

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